What is respect?Google says "a feeling of deep admiration for someone elicited by their abilities, qualities, or achievement." Yes I too see it the same way, "Respect is a feeling of deep admiration". In reality, we see and we show respects without any admiration too. So respects are of two types. They are a)Duplicate respect and 2)Honest respect.
Duplicate RespectSome people gets respect because of holding higher power in the name of designation/ wealth. When people are respected for their power, it means they are respected for their temporary abilities. When they lose power, they lose the respect too. Many times these people pretended to be respected and not really admired. These people are given respect only by words and not much in action. In families, some people demand respect for their superiority in age or relationship with that family, thus many others give them as a ritual to avoid unnecessary agitation at home.
Honest respectPeople who are deeply admired for their achievements and qualities are truly respected. These people are shown gratitude and been talked good in their absence too. Respect to these people are shown in action as same as in words. People deserves both kind of respects from various people at various situations. Though it depend upon the face we show at different circumstances, the major part is based upon the giver of respect. There are few unique aspects that attract everyone. That makes few legends to be respectable by all. When I say legends I mean not only celebrities, but within the family and friends too gets unanimous respect/admiration from all. How is that possible. What could be the attribute to become a respectable person?
So from my view, three things in people that attracts everyone and make them to deserve honest respect.
How to deserve honest respect?
Conclusion People getting older, thinks that they deserve much respect. Often many would have heard from our childhood, "Give respect AT LEAST to their age". Remember when you are newly introduced, When no other qualities are shown up, the people around with a judgement that 'old are wise' give respect. So people who can retain that judgement of others could continue to get the honest respect, else they will end up with duplicate respect only.
It is true that achieving and maintaining a healthy self-respect is one of the loftier and noble goals to pursue in one's life. Getting respect from others whether genuine or fake is a matter not in my hands I believe. Of course, we could behave in a way that inspires awe in others. But that should be a natural part of our personality and it is really difficult to plan to evoke respect from someone.
About the differences between genuine and fake respect that the author speaks about, it is really difficult to fathom who is an admirer and who is a sycophant these days.
We should conduct ourselves in the best ways possible at all times. Rest is not in our hands.
Respect is something which cannot be brought. It is a fact that one will get respect because of his position. For example we have several ministers and MLAs. Most of us respect them. But once they are out of their positions, only limited persons mind them. If they had done commendable works when they were in power, the respect will continue. That indicates something. The respect was given earlier to to the position held by them, perhaps with the hope that they would do something useful to the Society. If that expectation was not fulfilled, that person will not continue to be respected.
Similarly, the respect for artists, writers and such other creators will go on changing based on their works.
Another category of people who are respected is the rich. Here also the variations in the level of richness might be a criterion for the getting respects.
Respect is always there for teachers in the Society.
One can change the attitude of others through his behaviour. One who behaves decently will be respected by others irrespective of his job or position.
As we grow older, our maturity to understand things and persons also widens. During childhood, we used to get irritated and give comments on people in a hurry without thinking of it's after effects. But as we grow older, our reactions to every action from the opposite side would be guarded and measured. And some elders maintain eerie silence even others are talking much, not because they do not know much about the subject but they remain aloof because they are learning from others and would come back on the topic with their pungent reaction. And those who won't poke nose into others affairs are considered the best and that elder gets the best attention these days. And those elders are liked more in the society who does the work on their own without expecting helping hand from others. So as far as possible elders want to be self made persons.
Respect should come naturally. We can't demand respect from others. If one is showing an undue respect towards somebody that may not be a sincere one. They may be expecting something from the other person. One should be able to understand whether the respect shown by others is real or not.
Respect is to be given and taken. It can't be onesided always. If you start respecting the good words of your wife she will also respect your good deeds. People will respect somebody when his way of life is exemplary. When you are minding your own business and not getting into the other's works, when you behave ethically and when you have all the good habits people will respect you more.
Behaving in a proper manner and talking politely without hurting others will also earn respect.