Introduction Who am I? What are my unique qualities? How do I change and become a better person? What is that single quality that helps me stand out? Can I, now even when am twenty five, recall my childhood and those struggles to refresh my mind and come to make some sense of what really interests me? These are some questions always tossed around in applied advanced behavioral science sessions. These sessions are deeply emotional, and are handled by trained experts. However, our life is not like that. Our answers have to come from the real world. In this article, an attempt is made to answer some vital quesitons like, a) what is that "real me?"b) How do I stay focused c) How do I combine other required skills d) How do I plan the imperatives and e) How do I awaken the giant, overall within me?
What is the "real me"? Though the aim of what we call as Sensitivity Training in advanced behavioral science jargon is not only self awareness, the fact is that self awareness is integral to the entire process. Here, one real incident is narrated without mentioning any names to understand the crux -- the vital point.
A 32 year businessman from Coimbatore was very successful in trading of spices. However, he was a lousy family man. Married to a village girl, who had abundant common sense, this guy was always hell-bent on comparing her with others who were "fashionable" and even without realizing what happened to him, would insult her every day. He let out all this in the intense sessions and cried during a personal counseling with a US-trained professional, who took personal interest in him and greatly helped him. He had enough love for his wife. He had enough love for his three old kid too. Yet, he never allowed space for his wife to grow.
He wanted answers to his troubled married life. The counselor talked with him over three nights, with each session lasting over three hours. (The program was a one week program). He became aware of all the problems within himself. He was made to understand that his unique capabilities were in his business skills. What if he makes his wife a business partner? This thought challenged him. He became sleepless. Yet on the third night, he said "yes I will do it". Back home, he became kind to her. He entrusted small tasks to her. He made her active in even answering telephone calls. Within six months, the same wife was capable of handling independent correspondence! The counselor encouraged his wife to do her MBA through correspondence. Our guy was thrilled and agreed. An ordinary graduate became his business partner and was also "modern".
We spend our entire life living in darkness like this guy. We ought to ask simple questions to identify what is our unique strength. In this case, it was his business skills. However, his attitude was the main bottle neck for his family problems. The giant within him was awakened, thanks to the counselor.
It is hugely person-specific. If you are now 25 and are still unsure, ask your mother. What interested you most when you were a child. What did you talk about so much?
Years ago, a teacher spotted this talent in me and said, "You can become a big journalist if you try. It comes to you naturally". Those words ring so powerfully in me, even today. Though my life took a totally different turn and I landed in the Corporate Sector, the writer in me never slept. I was indeed so keen. Am now here. Even here, I know I have miles to go. But life's lessons are something I never forget.
Try to seek answers. Ask the relevant questions. Do not beat about the bush. Sincere friends can help too. Sometimes it gets revealed in the questions the boys ask when they are in the eighth standard. This boy, once again from Coimbatore city, learned to drive cars when he was in standard nine. It was not possible for him to get a license because at his age. He was least interested in academics. He wanted to set up a dealership in cars after making money. He was crystal clear. He made his hands dirty every weekend, working free and learning with a local motor mechanic. His knowledge was something unique.
It was his calling. It came naturally to him. Today, the same boy is just a graduate but has a mechanic shop employing two people. He is on the verge of getting a bank loan and getting into the business he cherished most. A very ordinary graduate but with superb knowledge of all cars on the roads of Coimbatore city. His interest and the support of his parents got him here.
You need to do it yourself. Seek answers and you will get some clarity.
How can I stay focused? Of course, one can never expect any sponsorship to advanced sensitivity programs. I got sponsored by the employer. Rs.30,000 is not simple money. So what do you do? Even when the signals are clear, follow your passion. For example, if you are able to see clearly your interest in photography, learn everything. Try to publish some superb photographs in local newspapers or magazines, even in the vernacular press. Focus simply means giving a big shape to the unique calling you identify within yourself.
The businessman's focus became easy when he involved his wife and said goodbye to his own silly attitudes. The boy became successful because he had support of his parents. You can have your own focus too.
How do I combine other required skills? In the above true life case, the businessman realized the potential of his wife at the right time. The other skills came from his wife. The boy got the other skills like learning the entire mechanics of huge cars, through sheer hard work.
Similarly, if your calling is say, music, you need skills in being patient. In learning from experts. In staying hugely focused. It will come naturally to you, provided you have the passion. It is for this reason we hear comments like "it is in her blood". The truth is that the blood has been conditioned to accept so many realities the right way and has been tuned to perfection.
Yes, the the other required skills come only with hard work and with practice. This is the simple truth.
How do I plan the imperativesThis is once again, hugely person-specific. There is this example,to understand the process. This guy, an MBA from a superb institute in Mumbai, was into supply chain management. But his heart was in advertising and brand management. He was counseled to quit his job and take up a new career, even if the salary was less. He combined the required skills through practice. He has been a huge success only because of his bold decision.
Your imperatives for constructive action, will, similarly, show up, after you have gone through the above steps. Once you are clear, it then becomes easy. Do it. Just do it.
How do I awaken the giant, overall within me?The Coimbatore ecosystem of Entrepreneurship is simply world class. The businessman expanded his business to the Gulf. He is laughing all the way to the bank.
However, not everyone is in the same boat. What you need to do is to consolidate and review. Where is the trigger now? At what stage do you find yourself in? Yes, you can take any number of small steps to keep tuned. To aim for the bigger goals. For example, am here, but still not a novelist. I wish to become one. I now read many novels to understand how people write. The process of consolidation is on. It may still take a long time, but I know where I am going.
This is the self awareness that is very much important in the journey of awakening the giant within you. This last stage of consolidation is possible only if you have gone through all the above steps. Yes, we are bound to do mistakes. We will have some failures. But we should never ever give up.
For, it is our life. We need to be clear what we want to do with it.
Conclusion Each of the above steps is not plain commonsense. But in many ways it still is. It is a combination of self-awareness and action. It does involve a step by step process.
After all, Rome was not built in a day. The process should be active at any point in time. We can get everything in order, if we sincerely try.
You, the individual, has to act. Right now. All the very best.
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What is the “real me" is the most difficult question to answer. It cannot be explained in a word or a sentence. People complete the journey of their lives and fail to find the right answer. They never seek the answer. Even those who are in quest of seeking the correct answer may not become successful even after years of struggle.
Success comes only to them who give equal importance to inbuilt natural abilities as well as to the opportunities. It is a nice thing if you know the people around you very well. However, if you know yourself well, it is a wise thing. If you can master others, it depicts your strength. If you can master yourself, it is only because of your true power.
In order to awaken the greatness that is hidden inside, you need to help the true potential that is hidden inside to come out. Greatness dwells inside and so does the true potential. Both of these are treasured and valuable forces that exist within us. There exist many ways to awaken the true potential.
When it comes to playing, you need to play it big. If you have to pay respect to the gifts rewarded to you and resources that are supplied to you, you need to play quite big in the arena of life. Limitations do not matter. All you need to do is respect your talents and become the best possible version of yourself. Best cannot be defined. Thus, it is a continuous process. As a result, you will keep evolving and improving. Since there is no settling, your potential will get awakened.
Life and work both are the means through which true potential get reflected. Limitations in the belief system and culturing doubts and fears are the main culprits which conceal the potential of an individual. Get rid of these destructive entities and understand your self-worth.