Introduction The former Indian Cricket Team Captain M. S. Dhoni is reputed as "Mr Cool". Even today, when one watches the old videos of the IPL matches when he had lead the prestigious Chennai Super Kings (CSK) franchise to stunning victories, it can be noticed that he was totally at peace and would not utter a single offending word against any individual. This is exactly what we need to do in so many situations too. Five of these situations are a) when we loose our jobs b) when our house is burgled c) when our family members face emotional turmoil d) when we are faced with medical emergencies and f) when we go to settle in a totally new place. It is not that there are no other similar situations. However, these are five major, life-changing situations where we can learn from other successful case studies. These are sought to be highlighted in some detail in this article.
When we lose our jobs There are always pearls of wisdom in every language. In Tamil, they say"ithuvum kadanthu pogum" (this will also pass). We need to remember this when and if we loose our jobs. This can happen to anyone in any level in a project job. That is, in a job where a new big project is coming up in say, bulk drugs, power, cement, steel, and so on. Since the dynamics of the external market will change so quickly, the promoters will decide to exit the market and sell the controlling stake to someone else, who will immediately sack hundreds of people. Many people have already lost their jobs in this fashion.
Here is one case study. Ram (name changed), a senior manager with a bulk drug company realized the company was not going anywhere. Six of his colleagues had already resigned. He knew the closure was coming. So, with the help of a head hunter, he secured a job at the same level in Mumbai, but left behind his family and children at Chennai in a rented home. He patiently waited for four years before his daughter could secure an admission into a leading commerce college in Mumbai, after her plus two examination. His wife was so much understanding and his parents also supported him all the way. He had remained cool and did what was best under the circumstances.
He also carried five other junior executives under him. He got them jobs in accounting and finance in a cement company that had factories in two different but locate locations. The boys joined the jobs since they knew that tough times were coming.
The best thing to do is to grab any job that comes our way and then make our way through the choices available.
When our house is burgled Thieves are too intelligent today. They do not leave any evidences. However, in our anxiety, we would lay our hands on everything and spoil the evidence. This is exactly what we should not do. We should just allow the police to come with the fingerprint experts. They will do their best to find out the thieves. This is extremely important and we should learn from people who are street smart with terrific common sense. We need to remain very calm. For, we can get back at least something, only if we are calm and very cool indeed.
When our family members face emotional turmoil Loss of your father-in-law or ,mother-in-law or maternal uncle of your wife. Or when your wife is not promoted. Or when the child is having a big problem with a particular teacher. Or when your father becomes too old and is extremely sad that his brothers no more care for him. These are all situations that we need to face with a very cool face and in a very cool manner. Most of these situations cannot be rectified. What needs to be done is to comfort the particular person in whatever way is possible and examine what can be done, given a particular set of circumstances. As bread winners we need to be very careful to navigate these tough times.
Similarly, death is one inevitable fact of life. If it is through an accident, we need to take immediate control of the situation and complete the legal formalities. If we loose our cool, we will not be able to do anything.
When we are faced with medical emergencies Apart from remaining cool, it is absolutely essential that we have huge medical insurance for everyone in the family, in normal times. This "nothing will happen to me" feeling is absolutely dangerous. It will do us no good. It cannot solve any problem.
If we had not taken any insurance, then the best thing is to manage with our savings or withdraw from our PF account. If we are still young, when our increments come, we can always pump in money into the long term PPF. The main plan is to ensure that we do not come to the streets and have our heads above water. Jewel loans can help too. It is wise to purchase jewels and keep them safely locked in safe deposit lockers in different banks and not in our houses, however safe they are/
When we go to settle in a new place Jaya (name changed), the wife of a middle level bank official knew some Hindi, while her husband Madhavan was a big zero. Yet, he was transferred to Patna. Jaya also requested and got a transfer from her bank. Jaya wisely allowed her two children, six and nine years old, to mix freely with other children. Initially, they had horrible times, but six months as all that the children needed to converse in Hindi so well. Every single day, the children would teach their father new words, with Jaya chipping in too. Over twelve months, Madhavan knew good enough Hindi.
Since she was too good in cooking a variety of South Indian dishes, Jaya became friends with so many good neighbors who taught her the Bihari vegetarian dishes in return. Madhavan was sincere in his job as well. Both Madhavan and Jaya were so cool and managed the situation so well.
Hence, any situation can be managed if we try our best and remain very cool. Any sign of anxiety will ruin our lives, both in the short and long term.
ConclusionWe should do a M.S. Dhoni very often in our lives. Remaining calm and cool is the need of the hour in these tough times.
All the five situations as described by the author can automatically build in lots of stress and bring sorrow to an individual's life. Keeping calm and maintaining the cool are the only behavior patterns that can be practiced that will help an individual to come out of the worst scenarios in an easy way.
Another such situation is divorce which is taking place around us at an alarming rate. If we look back a couple of decades back, getting a divorce was not really an option, at least in our country. Though legally one could get a divorce, most of the couples believed in the idea of ‘once married, always married' concept. Whatever may be the reason, getting divorced is a stressful situation. It not only brings stress to the couple who are getting divorced but also involves everyone in the family including children. Couples, however, get wrapped to such an extent that they forget to look around. They don't even care about the kind of influence and impact that their divorce is creating on their kids. The kids at their tender age go through so much of emotional turmoil that they find difficult to cope with everything that is going around them.
Thus, couples should maintain their calm during the process. They may have to fight in the court but don't try to bring that fight in a home not at least in front of kids. You have to maintain your cool attitude and calmly explain to your kids and everyone in your home the reason behind getting separated. You can't afford to lose your calm and make this stressful situation more stressful for everyone.
The issues taken up by the author are the delicate ones and each stage needs a considerable patience to achieve the calmness. To begin with, enough practice is required to attain the state of calmness comprising individual attitude, perception and a minimal degree of reaction if exposed to the uncontrollable situations.
Losing the job, separation of near and dear ones as a result of sudden death, sudden revelation of a disease by the attending doctor such as Cancer, Heart ailment or Kidney disorder of self or any family member would be enough to trigger stress, though there are ways to manage the undue tension with the different approaches.
The stage of tranquillity is possible with the diversion of mind with meditation and yoga. However, this needs a higher mental frame so that the vigorous reaction arising out of the abnormal situation can be diffused to a great extent, if not eliminated altogether.
However, to have a sound mental health, we need to take up different approaches conducive to our mental health. Of course, a calm mind would help in such situations.
The writer has enlisted some pertinent tips to lessen the escalated tension. This is indeed a good write-up guiding you to manage the unwanted tension.