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What to do if your teenage child is lost in adolescence?

Teenagers are very vulnerable both from the physical and mental angle. They become lost sometimes. They don't know what to do and whom to approach. There are many reasons for them getting lost in their adolescence period. Through this article, you will get to know the reasons and the solutions to the problems due to which a teenager child feels lost.


If you are a mother of a teenage child or a child who has just crossed 20, just like me, then you will know what is meant by a lost teenager. You must have experienced that sometimes your child behaves differently when he or she comes to the adolescent period. Some children become very quiet. This was the case with my child. Some become overly loud and expressive. Some others become irritated very easily. They pick up fights or come at loggerheads with every alternate person. The parents become very worried about their children during this transition period. Let us have a look as to why the children behave like this. Is this normal or abnormal?

Reasons for a child to behave differently during adolescence

  • Change in the body structure:
    If you have been brought in any rural area, then you will know that there are many misconceptions and taboos regarding puberty. The guardians who aren't themselves that much-qualified feel the puberty stage to be a curse. They inculcate the taboos in the minds of their young children. Therefore, a child, especially a girl child feels very uncomfortable during the different stages of puberty. The change in the structure of the body, both inside and outside, make them nervous. Such discomfort raises certain emotions like anger, shyness, etc. in the child. Therefore, they are not able to mix up with the rest of the world normally.
  • Sleepless nights:
    The children feel closer to their friends. They try to stay connected with their friends, whole day long. Here comes the influence of social networking sites, like Facebook, Instagram, etc. These sites have a lot of advantages. Over the years we have seen many long lost friends have been able to connect with each other just because of such social networking sites. But the main disadvantage of them is that the children have lost their sleep. They compromise with their resting time, just to be connected with their friends. This results in lack of concentration, irritation over little things, misunderstandings between the child and his or her parents, etc.
  • Tug of war between experience and inexperience:
    The teenage years is the time when they feel the maximum clash with their and their parent's opinions. They have a little bit of experience. But their parents claim and certainly have much more experience in any field in comparison to their children. Therefore, the outlook of both the generations to any problem is different. Therefore, there is a constant tussle between the parents and their child in dealing with any situation. If the parent overpowers the child in that tussle, then many times, the child runs away from home.
  • Peer Pressure:
    Teenagers get constantly influenced by their peers and their seniors. Sometimes the pressure of these people to change the opinion or behave in a pattern is a big factor for a teenager to behave differently. Since the teenagers idolize their seniors, they can't argue with their seniors. They feel whatever their seniors are telling are absolutely correct. They can even go against their parents will for their peers and seniors.
  • Non-cooperation of the teachers or parents:
    Sometimes the parents and teachers don't try to understand the teenager child or student problem. They scold the teenagers way beyond the requirement. Many teachers have been accused of beating a teenager child due to some minor misbehaviour. This is the sole reason that the teenager child becomes completely detached from his or her parents and teachers. This is why they choose their seniors to be their sole guide.

How to cooperate and stop a teen from becoming totally lost

  • Change in behavior towards teenagers:
    First of all we as parents or teachers need to change ourselves. Only then can we expect our teenager children to change or modify their unacceptable behaviour. We must forget everything and give as much as love and care possible to the teenagers during their period of adolescence. If you are a teacher, then you can arrange for orientation classes for your teenage students to give them friendly advice regarding the dos and don'ts.
  • More social mixing than social networking:
    Here there is a great role for the parents. We as parents should take them more to their friend's house or meet the relatives etc. This will reduce the need and hankering for young people to be closer to their friends. Try to arrange for a social gathering where they can meet their cousin brothers and sisters more often.
  • Who is right and who is wrong-When we as a parent try to put forward our view to our children, we always try to make them abide by our views. This is because we always think that we are always right. This may be true as we have almost double their life experiences. But this will not solve the main issue, that is the communication gap. The more you try to show your supremacy to your child, the less will he or she agree or communicates with you. Try to come to their level and behave as if you are also lost like them. Try to convince them, that you also want to find a solution to this problem, but don't know the correct method. You will see that your teenager child will be more frank with you, tell you everything about the problem and both of you will be able to come to a plausible and feasible solution quite easily.
  • College life:
    Their is no proper solution for peer pressure except for patience. Always instruct your child to be patient and strong towards peer pressure. This is a passing phase. If the pressure becomes unbearable, the same should be reported to the college authorities. If not, then sheer patience will help your child to overcome peer pressure.
  • Communication:
    Finally communicate more and more with your child. The more you will communicate, the better you will get to know him or her. Communications solve many big problems. If you have an irritable mood or an aggressive personality, then your child will always fear you. He will never communicate anything with you. He will try to solve the problems himself. When he is not able to find any solution, he will become lost. Finally, after a prolonged depression he or she will commit suicide. Therefore, in order to prevent this talk to your child. Talk about his college life, girlfriends, social life and more. Be his friend not his boss.


Therefore, it is perfectly normal to become lost in the teenage. We all have either passed this phase or will be entering this phase soon. This article will help both the teenage children and their parents to know the problems of teenage and their reasons. I have also tried to provide some home tested solutions to the parents out here. I have applied all the solutions mentioned here to become the best friend of my child.


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