IntroductionIf you are a parent then you have definitely experienced disobedience from your children at some point or the other. You must be in a complete dilemma as what to do when your child is completely denying your request or order and you know it was for the betterment of your child. If you haven't faced such an issue anywhere in life, then you are quite lucky. But if you have, then you can go through the following sections to identify your problem and act accordingly. Most of these solutions are home tested. My children are quite big now. I am basically recollecting few of my life instances and what I had done to overcome those issues.
Symptoms of mild and major disobedience
What could be the severe effects of disobedience if such early symptoms are completely disregarded?
Measures to curb a child's disobedience
ConclusionFinally to conclude, I would like to say that to curb the disobedience of the child, it takes both sides' effort. You as a parent should take a major effort. When you do so, you will see the gradual change in your children. Make sure to always observe your child and act accordingly.
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My son is somewhat disobedient and I am not able to mend him. He doesn't listen to us. I have asked his teacher what to do to take him to the right path. She advised us not to fulfill all his demands so that he may understand that if we are fulfilling his demands then he too in return should obey us. We tried this but could not find any change in him. His mother often beats him when he doesn't listen to her but that's not the solution and what is to be done we also don't understand. May we need to understand him better and need to discuss why he behaves like this. We have left it and pray with the time he will get better and will behave like we want him to.
Author has written an in-depth article describing symptoms, effects of disobedient children and measures that need to be taken to correct them. Parent's or guardian's response matters a lot. If your child is disobedient, it does not mean that you have to lose your temper and explode. The more you lose temper, the more your child is going to show you disrespect and disobey you. Try to remain as calm as possible. Let your child know that you understand him/her. You need to show consistency in your behavior pattern and try to be as cooperative as possible. Give respect and take respect is the best policy that you can adopt. Respect your child and earn the respect back. Whenever child shows episodes of disobedience, let your child calm down and gain the control back. Once he gains self-control, only then talk to him and help him learn about his behavior.
Appreciate the child every now and then when he shows respect and obeys you. These little compliments will help him to become more and more obedient. Do remember that punishment is never going to do any good. Instead, the efforts that are made by parents in a positive direction can only help in the betterment of the kid.
Try to analyze the family relationships. If there is any sign that displays a lack of understanding and cooperation within the family, it is very important to work on it. The reason may be that your child is going through the struggle and family issues have exerted negative effects on the mind. Before the conditions worsen and child enters into disobedient adolescent age, it is important to get rid of those family struggles. Once the root cause is removed, episodes of disobedience will never hamper the child's development process.
Disobedience of the child does not start all of a sudden. The child is definitely influenced by the behavior of the close relatives, parents and teachers. Family environment plays an important role in shaping the mental temperament. The presence of love and patient hearing of the issues which the kids are facing will help kids to grow with a balanced mind frame.
If the disobedience among the children is being seen, it reflects the disarrangement of their own house and most probably the kids are not being heard for their justified issues. Aggressive approach of the parents would worsen the situation. Most importantly a healthy dialogue is required to be established between the kids and the parents. This would go a long way to molding their temperament. Humanely approach, alone, is the only solution to take care of his disobedience.
Disobedience in children is the natural reaction if their demands and wants are not cared for or given credence by the parents and others. Children are ardent learners. They learn from the parents, relatives, neighbors and teachers. What I feel is that a child will not become bad just like that. If the parents fail to give time to the child and understand their need and wants, the child feels the aloofness and thus he behaves strangely. Since nobody knows the child better than the parents, they alone are responsible for the strange behavior or disobedience of the child and that anomaly has to be corrected in the small age itself.
Disobedience is a common characteristic of the children and it is not that only your or my child has it. Parents have a great responsibility of bringing up the children and the traits the children exhibit are the reflections of the way the parents have nurtured their offsprings.
Many parents may not agree to this, but the fact is that if parents are serious from the beginning they can definitely shape the behaviour and mannerism of the children in a positive way. Disobedience is only one of the manifestations of a spoilt child. Parents have to be strict with the children and should not give them whatever they demand; rather, make them realize that they will get rewarded only after good behaviour. The mind of a child is like a slate. It is tender. We can mould it in our ways and no doubt it requires the efforts which many parents avoid.
Once children have become disobedient and learn how to blackmail their parents, then the corrective actions are very very difficult. So we should be careful since the beginning.
A good article and the subject is dealt in a very comprehensive way. Parents should see the behaviour pattern of the child from the initial stages and try to mend them then itself. Another important point is that the parents should stand as role models to them. So the parents should show their positive qualities to the children and then they will start respecting the parents. The attitude of the children will completely depend on the mentoring and the behaviour of the parents in many cases.