Be a happy extrovert, but within limits


An extrovert is a person who is basically frank and free in expressing his views. He or she has the gift of gab too. However, such extroverts can also land into trouble if they are not careful and cross limits in not only exchanging common information, but sharing details about one's family and the like. This article is an attempt at discussing some details of such incorrect behaviors.

Introduction

Extroverts are naturally talkative persons. Even in long distance trains or buses, we can often see them, happily chatting about all that goes on around them. He or she would reach out to people and often provide so much of information. This is fine if it is within limits. If one crosses the limits, this behavior can itself become very damaging and can even land the person in trouble. Here the particular focus is on a) Sharing personal information about family b) Sharing details over social media c) inter-personal issues d) "I told you so" behaviors and e) Boastful tendencies.

Sharing personal information about family

On a recent train trip to Manthralayam, the train was late by almost two hours and I was aghast by the behavior of a co-passenger. She was a true extrovert. She kept on talking to a total stranger. The latter, a man around fifty years of age, happily posed one question after another and this lady was enthusiastically giving him so much information, that was too much and not needed at all. She even showed the photo of her son stored on her mobile!! She even quoted his take-home salary, proudly declaring that when she gets to live with the bachelor son in Pune, she would take care of him so much and feed him with her best dishes.

Such information sharing can be very dangerous. It is not only not needed, but undesirable also. The same person may gather all information and even call on us to create trouble for us, on a later date. This is because strangers can never be trusted at all.

Another reason why it could be very dangerous is that the person can sneak information about the extrovert to someone else, who might keep a close watch on the extrovert and even rob the house. Such incidents are rare, but they could happen. We often hear some story or the other about the misuse of information shared with total strangers. It is one thing to trust someone very close to us, provided we know very well about their integrity. However, total strangers about whom we do not even know the basics can be very dangerous indeed.

Sharing details over social media

Sharing of excess data over Facebook, for example, is now common. The extroverts think that they are great. They are not. There are some extroverts who happily give the cell number and personal email details as well. This can cause huge harm from strangers. Having a chat with them can be very dangerous too. These online chats start off so simply. However, they land the people concerned in deep trouble. Some years ago, there was this interesting news in the newspaper. A very young man had a new friend on Facebook. He was so much attracted by the care that the girl at the other end took in asking him so many personal questions. Finally, when he met the girl, he was totally disappointed that she did not look good and was not beautiful. He shouted at her in public. Some onlookers called the police. This ugly turn of events could have been avoided if only the man had restricted himself and had not gone overboard in sharing so much of personal information. It then transpired that the girl concerned had played the same game with two other men, wanting to extract as much money as possible.

This is exactly what will happen if the extrovert is not careful. In fact, there have been so many reports about misuse of information provided on social media sites. Essentially, Facebook is meant for limited friendship and sharing of views. At times of deep trouble, like the floods, such media sites can be very useful to even hundreds of lives. It all depends on how we use the medium. This applies to the extroverts as well.

Inter-personal issues

Some extroverts happily start, almost, as a rule, any conversation with the phrase, "I want to be frank with you" and reveal much more than what is needed. This chatting goes on about neighbors or close friends or whomsoever and even about bosses and big bosses.

All this adds to the huge mountain of inter-personal tangles that the extrovert knowingly, or often unknowingly, gets into. This is because people do share any information they hear about someone or any issue. This can snowball into a huge problem if the entire issue was blown up or had untruth in it. It is even more dangerous when it is about the personal affairs of someone. The happy merry go around of gossiping knows no end. In the end, all fingers will point only in one direction - the extrovert.

The extrovert needs to be very careful with the "yes men" or "yes women" who would go to any length to please the boss. The attitude of such people is to always fish in troubled waters and they will happily do it, given the smallest opportunity. It will be very easy to entice the extrovert with phrases like "come on, tell you, is there anything that you do not know" and the like, directly aimed at the ego of the extrovert. He or she would simply fall for the praise and share much more than what is necessary, only to get into more trouble. Even some intricate details about perceptions about the performance of other persons, by the big boss, is shared. This may or may not be true at all. The extrovert will make his or her own interpretation, based on limited data and go all out, happily chatting with anyone including the "yes men" or "yes women".

Hence, the extrovert should curb his loud mouth chatting and be restrained.

"I told you so" behaviors

This is also a huge problem with so many extroverts. They happily brag about some information they know. They even predict the exact course of some event, based on some other information they know but don't want to share.

After a while, when they get to meet the very same people, after the event, they simply boast "I told you so" and add their own masala as well. All this is not liked by most people who would tend to avoid them or not engage in any conversation at all with them. This becomes a big nuisance if the person at the other end is short-tempered and would take on the extrovert for his behavior. These "I told you so behaviors" are best avoided.

The masala that is added would be even more harmful to the person concerned, even if it is about any neighbor. It can ruin a person's character to a great extent, more so, if the issue is about some love affair. In general, it is always wise to keep one's lips tightly sealed about such matters.

However, the extroverts can hardly do so and happily talk about it in detail. This is exactly what should not be done. In any case, we have no right to interfere in the personal affairs of anyone, unless we are asked to give some opinion or if our help is sought for whatever reason.

This is one particular point that an extrovert should be very careful about.

Boastful tendencies

Most extroverts are very boastful about their success. They would boast about every small achievement of their sons or daughters. They would even boast something related to their wealth and, often, do the same at weddings, social functions and so on. Even unknowingly, they invite enemies and none like them for this behavior. All these boastful tendencies should be avoided too.

Conclusion

Extroverts, by nature, are very talkative people. They are basically okay and are good human beings. It is only some aspects of their behavior that should be curbed and curtailed. If they are made to understand their pitfalls, they will positively change for the better.

Even if you are yourself an extrovert by nature, please try to check on whatever has been explained above. Of course, the discussion is not exhaustive but indicative of major behaviors that can land any extrovert in serious trouble, if not taken notice of and corrective action is not taken.


Comments

Author: Reena Upadhya29 Sep 2018 Member Level: Diamond   Points : 5

It is a very useful article describing that certain careless behavior patterns of extrovert can land them in trouble. Extroverts don’t generally think much before they speak and spend their valuable energy. They love to interact and that is what they do. When an individual keeps on interacting without giving it a second thought, it is but obvious that there will be oversharing. Any information if misused can invite big problems and it all happens because extroverts do not know where to draw a line. They can approach anybody and it does not matter to them whether the other person is a friend or a stranger. They feel sad when no one is around and thus as soon as they see someone they are all set to begin the conversation.

It is not true that every time extroverts overshare, they will get into trouble. Most of the people even the strangers are harmless. However, as the author has described, sometimes oversharing will result in misuse of the information provided. Moreover, sharing too much information with everyone including opinions about each and everything can definitely be considered as a red flag. If the opinions are not so pleasant, they all sum up and if disclosed to the concerned person can harm the relationships.

Author: umesh29 Sep 2018 Member Level: Diamond   Points : 4

A nice article giving the detailed characteristics of an extrovert person.

Extrovert people are very talkative and cannot remain in isolation. It is a big punishment to an extrovert if he is confined to an isolated place.

Extroverts have their own advantages also as they can make friends easily and can break the ice anywhere in any gathering. Some of the wiser ones even get their things pushed ahead by the new friends who are generally impressed with their extrovert behavior.

The problem comes when extroverts cross the limits and start washing their dirty linen in the public. These have long-lasting adverse consequences and sometimes these extrovert people even suffer because of their extreme behavior.

Extreme of anything is bad and this applies very well to this characteristics also.

Author: neeru bhatt01 Oct 2018 Member Level: Gold   Points : 3

It is the extrovert who gets the advantage by his frank communications with others. He talks and gets valuable information which even the serious newspaper readers miss in the fine print though they spend hours reading it.

The introverts have no such benefits coming out while communicating with others as they are confined to their own world and find out everything themselves.

As regards to the extreme extroverts, sometimes their trait may harm them but seeing the plus points of this particular behavior, in general, they are the ultimate beneficiaries of their talkative nature.

Author: Sanjeev Gupta01 Oct 2018 Member Level: Gold   Points : 3

Nicely explained about extrovert people. Some people are very talkative and even share their personal details without knowing that they may get into trouble by sharing the same with the strangers. These people are good by heart and easily get influenced by people and start giving whatever is asked by another person.

Several cases are reported especially related to the social media. As few people target such people and gather the desired information of that person and misuse it.

Its good that we talk to strangers but we should share information about us only to an extent that a person cannot misuse it.

Author: Sheo Shankar Jha01 Oct 2018 Member Level: Diamond   Points : 5

The article is interesting in the sense that almost most of the merits and demerits of the extroverts have been explained in a lucid manner but we need to take some sort of precautions while conversing with such people. They would meet us with ease and start conversing touching almost all points giving us an impression that they are well informed. They have the art of convincing people.

At the outset, indulging in talks with such persons would not appear bad but as the conversation advances, they would share with their personal pieces of information and proceed with the talks insisting us on revealing more delicate issues such as the companies with which we are attached, personal income and so on. They may provide you the contact number also so that you are approachable the next time.
Dealing with such persons may turn out to be dangerous since they may leak out your personal information to some unwanted elements giving rise to the scope of blackmailing. Hence a prudent approach is always essential so as to avoid any ugly situation arising out of such risky conversations.



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