What to do when your friend tries to avoid you


Your friends abruptly cease talking to you and pretend that you no longer exist. The feeling of being ignored can be worse than feeling rejected because it makes you feel like you don't matter at all. Remember, every friendship is a variable which is not a constant and it will have its peaks and valleys.

Introduction

You may be quoted out of context, you don't have any reasons but get ignored by friends. you try to unearth the unanswered questions and uncomfortable emotions. Your friends abruptly cease talking to you and pretend that you no longer exist. The feeling of being ignored can be worse than feeling rejected because it makes you feel like you don't matter at all. But what to do when this type of problem arises?Remember, every friendship is a variable which is not a constant and it will have its peaks and valleys.

Raju was busy in a bank to withdraw money from his account and received a call from his friend. He picked up the call and told him that he would be calling after he comes out of the bank. His friend was in need of some urgent help and awaiting his call back. Poor Raju forgot to call back and thought he would call again when he remembered about his call. The silence continued over a period of time developing an ego factor. Such communication gaps lead to a long spell of silence between friends. We have to think many factors before feeling ignored or avoided by our friends.

A Formula-10 to overcome the situation

A friendship is not a readily available commodity in the market and a product of so much effort put after evaluating the mutual understanding, withstanding to rough weathers and proving to be an indicator to be ever lasting. But times may create a situation to feel hurt when your best friend ignores you. But the reasons may be beyond the scanner of your mental Radar and here are the better ways to deal with the situation:
  1. Your reflexes of your mind more important. Check whether your line of thinking is in sync with the ground reality.
  2. 'All human relations are monetary relations' – This quote by Aristotle may be true in human values. Please check whether any financial transactions did play their part to disturb your friendship.
  3. It is very important to recollect the past happenings very recently that might have created a barrier between you. If it were a mistake or something that couldn't have occurred from your side, initiate a reproach for reconciliation. Apologizing for you action would be the best remedy in such a scenario and a true friendship would never gets pale after such measures.In case, the past happenings don't indicate any fault on your side and reflects the laxity on the other side, don't get carried away by your ego avoiding a dialogue again. He might be hesitating to open up. Your start up would ease the situation and things can be patched up.
  4. Sometimes, it may not be intentional. The hectic busy schedules and other personal factors may lead to a long spell of silence. He may think to explain the reason personally and the meet may be delayed due to various reasons. There would always be a thin line between a sensitive and non-sensitive issues and one should draw a line perfectly between these two. The one who realizes this fact can easily handle the problem of being ignored.
  5. In these days of chats online, the distant places might have become closer but widening the barriers all of a sudden because of the texting which gives a different message which we don't intend it so. It clears off the air only when we have a face to face meet and settle the scores. Visit your friend and spend some time with him, slowly you can understand the true factors for the reasons of his ignoring you, if your feeling of being ignored by him appears to be true.
  6. The body language and facial expressions would give a clue while you meet your friend personally. While communications@ email or Whats App don't give you the hidden feelings of any side.
  7. You can always level the things by expressing your views how awkward they may be; also share your feelings, let it be strong and hard but don't have expectations that your friend too should fall in line with you and accept them. Individual thoughts are more important and it all depends on how we convince the other end.
  8. Sensitive over-reactions do play a harm or injurious to health. It is more dangerous in maintaining healthy friendship. If your reactions are displayed openly, others can understand the reason for it but internal expression is not known to anyone and it could also be a reason for the gap between you and your friend.
  9. A common friend for both of you too can play a role to reduce the internal tensions. He may help you out to bring normalcy and can play a role of a catalyst. Be fair and frank with him. Ask him to tell how badly your feelings are hurt for not responding to your communications and being ignored. This effort would make you relieved of all tensions.
  10. Just ignore them and try with new friendship. Sometimes it may work but don't try this formula too early. It may backfire. It sometimes make them to feel that they are the only one who are in friendship with you their attention by hanging out with new friends and posting pictures on social media. it may not be a cheap trick but a new way to identify new friends too. By feeling uncomfortable and jealous, they may try to contact you. When they do so, do no play your turn to ignore them.
  11. May be your efforts to get back your friend on to your fold may prove wrong. The elements of Zealousness and 'Use and throw' policy like using the curry leaves would always be there in every arena and your friendship may not be an exception for it. You can't harp on repenting for that and can't be too nice to keep on trying to get in touch with a person who doesn't care. Let your life moves on without people who want to make you feel bad all the time.
If you have explored all the above possibilities and exhausted all your efforts, yet you won't get a positive sign from your so called friend who is ignoring you, then it is your turn to think how to move on. Trust yourself and in this process trust your friend too. After all, it is a give and take policy and applicable to both the parties.

Wrap Up

The 10 Point formula mentioned above is not always a 'Zindal Thalisman' (herbal medicine) for every friendship and particularly those who are in love or any relationship. Here, friendship is counted as the one which is of long term value without any anticipations but is concerned with the people whom we trust and from whom we expect advice in the need of the hour.


Article by Jagdish Patro
Jagdish Patro is a freelance writer and a regular contributor to ISC and other websites. Fond of reading books, novels and spends his leisure time by listening to music. He did his B.Sc in Applied Chemistry and his M.Sc in Resource Development Technology. He edited and published an in-house monthly journal by name ‘Srujana’ during 2009-2011 which was totally a private circulation.

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Comments

Author: DR.N.V. Srinivasa Rao29 Dec 2018 Member Level: Platinum   Points : 5

In my opinion, a real friend will never ignore us. But some people try to be friendly with you for some reason or other. Once the mission is completed they may conveniently forget and may not give a proper response to you. In such a case, we should leave them and need not to worry about their friendship. Many times when we will feel that we are getting ignored by friends it will make us worried. When we call them, they may not respond and may not revert back also. We can try by calling another time and even then if they are not responding, it would be better to ignore them and forget about them.
We should be able to differentiate the real friends should keep in touch with those friends only. Sometimes the common persons whom you and your friend know may also try to create unnecessary misunderstanding between you. We should keep a watch on such persons and we should try to remove the misunderstandings by having an open discussion with the friend.
The author has given good points regarding the course of actions one has to take if a friend of you is trying to avoid you. A good article.



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