Introduction When we behave in certain ways, we are always noticed by some people. If these behaviors are positive and in line with accepted social norms, there is no problem. The moment we deviate from such norms, we always enter the danger zone and get into certain traps. These traps then become so established and firmly rooted in our behaviors that we struggle to come out of them. There are some behaviors, that can be termed as "it's really not on" behaviors in modern corporate language. Essentially, these are social behaviors, irrespective of whether we exhibit such behaviors at home, at the office or in the society. It is hence essential to understand the further ramifications of such behaviors. It these happen to be those of others, we can attempt to advise them or counsel them to the extent possible.
The six essentially "It's really not on" behaviors are -
Always talking about our sob stories This type of behavior has the potential of simply putting off the other person. The person(s) who exhibit such behaviors always come up with stories of how much they suffer at the hands of their wives or husbands or even grown-up children. Worse, they often come up with stories about their economic status and quickly win the sympathy of others. They even get to enjoy the undue hospitality of others for a while. More so, if the other person is kindhearted. However, the game gets quickly boring or is over when people collectively start understanding that repetitive behavior is only meant to get favors. There are some people who indulge in such behavior on a very constant basis. They should be counseled to improve their behavior and totally stop it. If possible, they could be helped to earn some extra money through entrepreneurship. That is, if the wife or the husband gets to earn something through honest means, their economic situation will improve, resulting in some improvement in their behavior. However, this is easier said than done. Generally, after a while, these people become hate figures.
Excessive boast about own/children's achievements There are some who are somewhat talented. They might have given a Carnatic music performance in a local organization. Immediately, the very next day, they keep boasting about it for hours. They simply try to catch the attention of others and keep on talking, irrespective of whether that person is listening or not. It also happens with some housewives. They are so proud of their son's or daughter's small achievements and tend to blow it up to the next level. Their boast knows no bounds. Over a period of time, people start running away from such people, almost as a rule. This is mainly because they get fed up easily and rather quickly. This behavior even becomes a mindset. This behavior has an implicit" I am ok, you are not ok" message is sent to the other person. More so, if the other person is a parent of a child studying in the same class. Jealousy and hatred quickly follow. There are parents who boast about their achievements in terms of their son's or daughter's entry into IIM or the ISB or IIT, for months on end.
it ought to be realized that such boast can not only annoy the other person, but they will also quickly try to keep away from such people, at all times. One can only try to advise such people to change.
Creating politics in neighborhood This often happens in gated communities. Some people have this tendency of creating politics. It is very simple. They carry tales of what the other person told them at some point in time. The other person would not have told anything big at all. The fact is that all the extras are added and the mirch masala is literally dished out to the other inmates. Those who think that there is some truth in it, pick up a quarrel with the concerned person. This game goes on endlessly. The sadist who created politics in the neighborhood keeps laughing. This is a clear "it's really not on" type of behavior which should be totally avoided. Even if all the others join to admonish the person, so be it., This can cause dangerous consequences to the social fabric in the gated community and should be avoided at any cost.
Giving personal problems as excuses for non-performance in offices This is a dangerous tendency. It is a habit itself. The grandmother's illness is cited for a person's leaving the office rather early. There would not a grain of truth in it. The grandmother would be hale and healthy. Or the person will come with "my wife is not well" story. This author has seen it happen in a Public Sector organization. The boss quietly sent someone to verify the claim and when it was found out that the person was lying, he was immediately given a memo, asking him to explain his atrocious behavior. When the culprit came to know the truth, he immediately begged for pardon. This became a big story in the department and from that point in time, none believed the person, even when there was a genuine problem at home. It is a very dangerous attitude and should be totally avoided. If it becomes a mindset, it can ruin the person. The concerned person(s) should be told to quickly change their behaviors for the better.
Being selfish to over normal limits This is another typical behavior. We will always notice people who are very kind to others, only till the job is done. Or the favor is done. After this, the same person behaves as if he or she does not know the other person itself. This is dangerous behavior and can easily put off the other person. They quickly become hate figures. If such selfish behavior is exhibited by bosses, the morale of the subordinates is disturbed to over one hundred percent with disastrous consequences. This behavior should be immediately corrected. Those in positions of authority can do something in this respect. it is really not so easy, but one can easily try. And should try.
Never being bothered about others and their problems Try telling such people that the Indian Army did a very good job in the surgical strike, and pat would come the reply: "yes, they did their duty. So what?" The other person is immediately put off. Such people exhibit a total disdain and lack of interest in anything that happens around them. They might not be exactly selfish. However, they are somewhat indifferent or sometimes totally indifferent to anything that goes on around them. These types of people are really tough nuts to crack. However, it is advisable to avoid any conversation with them. In fact, most people tend to keep away from them.
Conclusion Whatever has been discussed above is only indicative. For reasons of space, the behaviors are not discussed in detail. The very undesirable six behaviors need to be avoided by us, if we are guilty of it (or them) in some way. As we regards others, we can only try to help them see reason and keep away from such social behaviors.