How to be to be effective in all aspects of human relations

Human Relations is a big art by itself. It cannot be done in a flash. There are so many dimensions of human relations that need to be carefully understood. It is not rocket science. However, when we put these to work in reality, the task of good human relations becomes a much easier task. Some nuances of getting this done are discussed in this article.


Human Relations is a very delicate task. For, it involves human emotions and feelings. To this extent, it is relevant to any environment. Be that our home, or at work or in society. The task may look deceptively simple. However, it requires a lot of tact. The various dimensions can be discussed with specific reference to a) The art of listening b) Apologizing in any given situation c) Removing negative perceptions of anyone d) Saying thank you as a routine and e) Obtaining feedback from concerned third parties.

The art of listening

Try not listening to your child, just three years old. He or she will immediately start crying or create a temper tantrum. Cell phones and newspapers should be avoided when they say something. This holds good for offices too. The most important point is to look straight into the eyes of the other person, conveying a subtle message: "am with you". This will obviously enable him or her to speak out. Gentle nodding of the head will also supplement good feelings in the other person. Those who have perfected this art, without any ego hassles are the real leaders. The best example is the former Captain of the Indian Cricket team, M.S. Dhoni and now captain of CSK team of IPL. One can always learn from what he does. His body language is always so positive. He has his ears to the ground and the genuine smile and a pat on the back help him to get the best out of his subordinates. Listening can make a huge difference in human relations and one should master it.

Apologizing in any given situation

This is extremely important. Only when the other person acknowledges that we are good and trustworthy, can we have good human relations in the first place. The act of apologizing for our mistakes helps to build many bridges. It makes it very clear that we are humble and approachable. It also makes it clear that we will not stand on prestige and cut off people. It also means that we are kind and considerate. The many messages that get conveyed will only work to our advantage. By this simple thing, we can always build good human relations at all levels. If we do it to our subordinates at the office, we will have done a good job. We would have established our credentials as good leaders. This is one vital aspect of leadership and we need to understand this in any situation. In a group situation, if we quietly apologize, most unwelcome circumstances can be avoided. Even murders have happened only when both the parties had gone on arguing without any end. The violence that breaks at some stage could easily have been avoided with a simple word of apology. This is exactly what we see almost on an everyday basis.

What will happen if we do not apologize to any human being? Firstly, he will start thinking that we are ego minded people. Secondly, he will try to avoid us, more so, if he is our subordinate. The simmering discontent will be there. Thirdly, he or she will spread the bad around. More specifically, the person(s) may be advised to keep off and never get closer to us. This is because of the perceived high handed behavior on our part. Even if a small grain of it were to be true, we will end up being the loser. This is exactly what happens to many people. Even the high performers are prone to do mistakes. These mistakes become very costly mistakes that cost them dearly at some stage of their career. They might also end up losing bright employees.

Removing negative perceptions of anyone

We are often guided by what others say about any person. Even relatives. We are clouded by wrong perceptions. We think of him as a very bad person or a very bad person for no fault of his. Only when we understand reality, we feel very sorry. This can be easily solved if we try to understand the person through personal interaction. All negative perceptions are very bad in taste. They should always be avoided. A direct interaction will help us remove any such negative perception and go ahead in forging very good friendships and relationships with such people. Our perception of reality is totally different from reality itself. This is one simple truth that should be dinned into our minds. Day in and day out. Only direct verification of facts with all evidence can help. If however, we need to keep away from undesirable characters, so be it. For instance, we meet with very cunning or treacherous people. We also get to meet with people who are very shallow or narrow-minded. We need to keep away from such people.

Saying thank you as a routine

This is one vital aspect of good human relations. It is never wise to stand on prestige. Even if we are the boss of twenty subordinates, saying thank you for any small work done by the subordinate in public. will motivate him or her to reciprocate by working even more harder. The art of saying thank you is very deceptively simple. However, the two ground rules are that you should either shake hands with the other person or pat him on the back when saying thank you. With women, shaking hands is fine if the culture permits it. The most successful leaders of any business or organization are always those who have mastered the techniques in this respect. It is also vital to look straight into the eyes. By looking at the wall or the ceiling when telling thank you, you are doing a great disservice. Never do it.

Obtaining feedback from concerned third parties

How do we know if we are on the right track? We can obtain feedback, based on the behavior of others. Yet, when we need to tie up all loose ends, we need the help of some trusted third persons, who might even be working in an allied department or a department with which we have regular interaction. Modern organizations go through the splendid practice of what is called 360-degree appraisal. This is also good. However, we need to understand that by getting feedback from trusted third parties, we are actually doing ourselves a world of good. We can easily remove negative perceptions if any, by reaching out to the concerned persons.


The basic points about certain variables that facilitate good human relations have been discussed above. When we go along, consistency and sincerity in doing whatever we do will take us to the next level ineffective human relations.

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