Introduction When we get introduced to some new friend, what do we normally do? We try to engage with them. We visit their houses and expect them to reciprocate that too. If it happens quickly, we think that they the particular family or that person is a good friend. Otherwise, we sort of brand that person and do not give him a pass mark. Are we correct? Obviously no. We need to realize that every human being in today's world has his or her own quota of problems. Those who live with old parents in metro cities and get holed up in the smaller flats and apartments are even busier. Commuting and water problems are quite common. They often do not even know who lives next door!! The servant maids do not come at all. If they do, they really take their own cool time to do the work. The problems are endless. It is in this context that we need to anchor the vital question of having new good friends and keeping them or even keeping the existing friends in good humor and spirits. In particular, it is relevant to a) Be very genuine in talking and body language b) Talk only positive things and never about any negative thing c) Never pour out all personal problems d) Maintain secrecy about problems of friends e) Be very honest and credible and f) Always infuse hope and optimism in friends.
Be very genuine in talking and body language If you are not sincere and exhibit inappropriate body language, no friend will appreciate and accept you. If you visit the home for the first time and get introduced to a girl studying in school or college, be very careful. Do not go beyond saying hello to them. The family would get to know about you in the first place and only then start to interact with you. Never ever entertain any romantic idea at all. Love is not what is shown in movies. None in this world would appreciate his sister being chased by any human being. Only when they are very sure about your character, would the family even entertain any thought of your talking to any female member. The relatives are quite shrewd to understand you and assess you. If you even suggest some body language that does not indicate any genuine and honest intent, the family will immediately try to even severe all friendship with you. These are very delicate matters. Nothing happens immediately. Good friendships are born out of a very sincere and honest attempt at all times. Remember, every single human being in this world loves to have good friends. How we react to any situation and how genuine we are in reaching out to new friends does make a huge difference. To those who are already friends, catch up with them over the phone as often as possible. Never postpone friendly phone calls over the cell. Keep in touch through what's up and always inquire about their welfare. Never talk about something you do not know.
Talk only positive things and never about any negative thing Most human beings are already depressed about atrocities they see or hear around them. They do feel helpless. They always look for something that is positive. If you can cater to this feeling and get them to experience something positive or see something positive, they will usually respond so well. Friendly advice about careers of their family members, including younger sisters or brothers, care about old people like suggesting a good doctor for some treatment for the particular old person and so on, can go a long way in cementing the friendship. If you can even visit the hospital of a friend who is admitted for an ailment, and do something that is possible in the situation like arranging for some money ( if required), you can jolly well understand that the family will start believing you and trusting you. Of course, money is only one aspect. The human aspects of care and sharing are even more important.
Never pour out all personal problems This is one common mistake that we should never do. Even with friends who have been around for ten years, you just cannot afford to pour out all your personal problems in today's conditions. If he or she learns about it and then offers to help, that is another story. This is exactly why we need safety nets as far as financial security is concerned. Apart from this, we need to not only reach out to friends and help them to the extent we can but not burden others with stories of our personal problems. However, it is wise to form a big group to help each other in times of need. For example, if a group friend is six and there are twelve members in this group, and the need for funds is one rupees lakh on an urgent basis, the eleven of them can pool the resources and help the person. There will always be someone who can contribute a bit more. After all, this is just a loan and can be repaid by the person after a while. In fact, in these days of advanced technology, the need to network is immense. It is also easy. In fact, this is exactly what very close friends are now doing and are also doing it perfectly.
Maintain secrecy about problems of friends If a friend of yours has a nagging wife or a nagging husband, and he or she wants you to maintain total secrecy on the finer points of such nagging, you should, as a trusted friend never leak out such information to other friends. In fact, you could suggest some ways and means for that friend to possibly take the help of a trained counselor and check if that professional can enable a patch up. These are days when the smallest of differences of opinion are made to look like the very big differences. Counseling has proved to be very effective. Sometimes the saner elders also do this counseling and are very effective.
Be very honest and credible This is very important. Honesty is always the best policy. And when you are honest, you will easily build credibility too. This is exactly what you should do, with every friend. You can easily transition to be the "first choice friend" if you try. Such friends are always very good at bringing in new friends to any group. And more happiness too.
Always infuse hope and optimism in friendsIf you are able to infuse hope and optimism in friends you can easily do a great service to others. Your behavior and your positive vibrations will make them think twice about every single opportunity and they will take everything in the right spirit. When this happens, no matter whatever happens in any given situation, all friends will learn the art of adapting themselves and the net result will be very good for everyone. The best of friends always infuse hope and enthusiasm. Just look around and identify them. You do not need to read any book to get an idea here.
Conclusion There is always scope for good friends. The art of getting friends and keeping them is a delicate art. All you need is to learn from experience. The real world is the best laboratory to learn all the lessons.