IntroductionMost young Indian women in the age group of 18 to 35, in the small towns, big cities and in the Metro cities, are educated and are raring to go in their careers. Their lives have become very complex and complicated too. A good majority of them are somewhere in between. They are in the middle of tradition and family culture and Western values and living. They do deal with men of various types. The most important learning in this direction, with a massive amount of practical implications, are a) Do not paint all men with the same brush b) Never go beyond basics on social media c) Never ever share personal information with men d) Stay away from the "liberated" men e) Never invite men to your houses when you are alone.
Do not paint all men with the same brushThere are various types of men. Good men. Bad men. The crooks. And the really good men. If you had some unpleasant relationship with any man or even a few men in your official work, never ever imagine that all men are similar. They are not. A good majority of them are good. Those who hail from families where the mother is a teacher or both parents are teachers are generally good. They would hear a lot of good advise from such parents and would have a good balance in life. You could have step two relationship with such men. Step one is just the " hello" type of friendship, which stops with a hello and does not move one inch beyond that. In step two, you could talk a little more about values that should be imparted to children, religious practices and so on. In fact, taking part in some festival conducted by such men would give the woman a chance to open up some basic level of communication with their wives. They could be good people too. However, the friendship should stop with the rare visits to such houses. However, whatever be your financial position, never ever talk about it to any man, good or bad. Find out solutions only with your husbands. And while visiting such homes, even rarely, take your husbands along with you. Never show up alone. While you cannot paint or should not paint all men with the same brush, you can't go on exploring who is the ideal person, ever. Apart from your husband, there are not many. If by any chance you are unmarried, you need to be five hundred percent more careful.
You also need to understand every male far better than you think you know them. They could be cousin brothers or people working in the same office or in other places. The man could even be your neighbor. Unless you have a reference from a very good known source, you should not even go to step two. However, after you are assured of the person 's honesty and integrity and general good conduct, there is nothing wrong in making far better friendship, such men. In fact, some of these relationships can even end in marriages when you are assured that a particular person could be a very good life partner and your parents also agree to your decision. It does take quite a lot of understanding to be assured that the person is a very good person. Yes, there are such very good people too. Much would depend on the family background of the person. In fact, by exploring such friendships, you will go far beyond your normal scope of thinking and you would stop painting every man with the same brush.
Never go beyond basics on social mediaStay within the very close circle of friends and relatives on Facebook or Twitter or whatever. There are third rate crooks who create accounts in the name of women, entice you into friendship and then do maximum damage by revealing their true identity. By that time, everything is lost. So, be very careful. Never encourage any fresh friend request
Most men who are married may not even respond and such friendships are a waste of time
Try instead to have really good friendships with some women who can be trusted from among neighbors, colleagues and so on. In fact, only such women will offer you solace when the chips are down. India can ill afford to have a repeat of the disaster that happened at Pollachi. Beyond becoming national breaking news, this worst experience also highlighted the worst form of misuse of Facebook. The crooks misused it. It should be remembered that the same Facebook helped to save several lives during crisis times.
Never share personal information with menThis can be or become very dangerous. While everyone is not bad, there are crooks everywhere. They can really harm you. The best solution is to keep every personal information a secret. The sob stories should be zero. For all you know, men also chat so much amongst themselves.
Your agony might as well become a big topic for their " time pass". Even if they are your colleagues. Never confuse official and personal friendship with men. You never really know when a man might change. If you are influenced by some good old stories, be assured. They are old stories that are no more true at all. They might be totally out of place and would become boring to even women today. More so, as most relationships are commercial. Yes, they are commercial. We better learn to live with this fact of life.
Stay away from "liberated" menMen are men. Those who claim they are "liberated" would also have vices of the worst kind. They talk as if they are the best men around. They are not. Even if they had divorced their wives for whatever reason, it is wise to stay away from such dangerous men who might draw you into very bad relationships or simply exploit you. Never be taken away by their glib talk. Such men would normally present themselves as very good men of high integrity and very sound qualities. Probe a little further and their mask will be exposed so badly. This is exactly what really happens in most cases. Hence, these guys are better avoided. Even if they are bosses, are married and have children too.
Never invite men to your houses when you are aloneThis is a very important point. He could be your boss. But that is no reason for you to invite him home. Please never do this mistake. When your husband is not at home, not a single man should be invited home. This is very dangerous for very obvious reasons. Even in the Metro cities, it can lead to the gossip of the worst kind. Never ever do this mistake. Society is full of people who gossip happily. There are sadists among men who easily exploit all weaknesses of women. All that some men require is a little window of opportunity. If you had even shared a small negative aspect of your husband's personality, you would find that guy trying to close the gap by doing something that fills the gap. If you would start thinking that the man would satisfy you better and open up to him emotionally, this will be the starting point of all trouble. Remember, whatever be the differences of opinion with your husband, you need to tackle all that only through your own efforts. Taking the help of a male who is a stranger is very dangerous. In fact, you should not seek even the help of your own brothers or sisters or parents. You need to sort out everything by yourself.
ConclusionWhat young women need to understand about men has been discussed in some detail in the aforesaid paragraphs. The discussion never has any full stop. Learning is a continuous process. Let women in the age group of 18 to 35 always be very careful. This is one big lesson you, the young woman, need to understand very well.