All you need to know about analyzing anger and its management


Anger is almost comparable to a demon that creeps up unnoticed on us. By the time we realize that we are angry it is already too late. Hence it might be useful to analyze the feeling called anger and take steps to control it. Read this article to know more about this topic.

If you are patient in one moment of anger, you will escape a hundred days of sorrow.
- Chinese Proverb

Let us face it, we have all been angry at one point of time or the other. Whether it was due to a next-door neighbor who created a ruckus and thereby destroyed our sleep or due to an annoying child who would pluck guavas from our garden tree at the first opportunity, we have all been angry at one point or the other. There can be no doubt about the fact that anger is a universal feeling. Having said that it is amazing how few of us take the time to analyze our anger.

What is anger?

Anger is a state of mind, just like happiness or excitement or grief. But unlike other states of mind, it is much more intense and causes a variety of psychological, physiological and social reactions. Anger like most emotions is born out of a survival instinct. As children, we learn that shouting, shoving things, etc. can get our demands fulfilled by our parents. Probably that infantile instinct remains somehow trapped in us until it is once again expressed in a fit of anger.

It makes sense to analyze this complex emotion that can turn our lives inside out within the space of a moment. It is well known what happens when we are angry. Our facial expression changes. The eyebrows may be turned at an inward angle. The blood circulation quickens up all over the body. Our voice is raised and we end up speaking things which we wouldn't even imagine in a calm moment. Most psychologists will agree that when we are angry, we aren't essentially thinking (in the normal sense of the word). Why do we get angry? When something annoys us or doesn't go according to our expectations we get frustrated. When this frustration and annoyance builds up to a certain level it results in anger.

Controlling the demon

Almost all societies, since the dawn of civilization, have denounced anger. For example, the Bhagavad Gita considers anger to have its roots in unfulfilled desires. It praises the 'Stitha-Pragya', the extremely level-headed man who can remain calm amid adversity. It is not hard to find similar ideas in various philosophical or religious writings. The reasons for this is obvious. Anger is undesirable due to social and psychological reasons and people who are prone to get angry often seek solutions for it.

There are a lot of Anger Management courses if you decide to go look for one. However, the key to controlling your anger is within yourself. You should always be on a journey of self-evaluation. Think of the last time you got angry. What was the reason for it? Was it due to something someone said? Did that person's words somehow expose your vulnerabilities? Or was it due to some bottled-up frustration? Think about all of these and when you come up with answers, take steps to tackle these factors one by one. For this exercise in self-evaluation, it might even be helpful to maintain a diary.

There is no universal solution to controlling anger. However, you can try breathing exercises once in a while. You can get a change of scenery to keep the mind fresh. However, despite the best of steps, you might still get angry. The best thing to do in such cases is obviously to seek forgiveness, not just from the other person who was the subject of your wrath but also from yourself.

The theory of the garbage bin

I remember reading a short but brilliantly written prose a few years ago. The writer had said that all of us are carrying our frustrations in a proverbial garbage bin. This 'garbage bin' consists of all our pent up frustrations and resentments. We have to take care that we don't drop our garbage on anyone else. At the same time, if someone else drops their garbage on us, we shouldn't return the favor. This is extremely important. We shouldn't allow anyone else's anger to become our anger. If an angry man shouts at us we should try to bear it with a smile (up to reasonable levels) as these are the rantings of an unthinking man.


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Comments

Author: DR.N.V. Srinivasa Rao22 Sep 2019 Member Level: Platinum   Points : 6

A good article from the author explaining the negative aspects of anger and how to handle it. It is informative. If we can withstand a few minutes without expressing our anger we will be successful. But the problem is that bearing it for a few minutes is a herculean task. When we have a soft corner towards the other person who is making us angry we can withstand with a smile. But if we have negative thoughts about the other person withstanding that anger for a few minutes is also difficult.
We need not express our anger with heavy words and shoutings. Sometimes our silence will also make others understand our anger. I feel this is the best course of action when we are angry. Reserve your anger. Once you are able to do that you have enough space to think about the situation and it may give some clues to understand the anger of the other person. Then you will be a positive man and you will not be under any anxiety.

Author: Chitra05 Oct 2019 Member Level: Gold   Points : 5

Controlling and overcoming anger is a difficult task. I am a short-tempered person hence I know how I struggle to control my anger. But if we are able to control it for a few minutes, then we will succeed. In some people anger creates revenge. They might not burst out but will hold grudge against the other person. That is not at all a good practice.

Anger is not a solution and it will not do good to you. People will start moving on when they know you are an angry person. So to build and sustain the goodwill one should know the tricks to control their anger. Everyone likes and prefers to be the person who always takes things lightly and has a smile on their face. You will also have someone like that in your surroundings, notice them and learn from them.

Author: Reena Upadhya07 Oct 2019 Member Level: Diamond   Points : 6

The author has well described the issue of anger and also, how to control the uncontrollable demon. We become angry when a situation or a person upset us. Also, in unjust situations and dangerous ones, we let our emotions out in the form of rage. This emotion is an exploding one. It is neither good for us nor for those who are around us. It deteriorates our physical as well as mental health, and also makes our personality unappealing.

Here are a few tips to get rid of anger-
- Know the root cause of anger. What is triggering anger is essential to be determined if we have to get rid of it. Remove the stimulus, and anger gets removed.
- Know whether anger is masking some other feeling or emotion. In life-threatening situations, and when we feel anxious, we show this emotion. Remove the factor which is causing anxiousness in us. Know what is tuning us into fight or flight mode. It will help us to eliminate anger from our lives.
- Sometimes underlying health problems can trigger anger such as stress, depression or trauma. Treat the conditions and calm the body and the mind. When they get healed, anger issues gradually get solved.

Author: Sharada30 Mar 2020 Member Level: Gold   Points : 1

You can also control anger by:-
1. Counting backward numbers 10 to 1 but you should be triggered by a family member or friend readily visible at that point of time.
2. Do meditation regularly which helps you make decisions in a prompt way.



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