Five simple ways to throw away jealousy and hatred and minimize anger

All human beings have emotions and feelings. These are natural. There are good emotions and harmful emotions. Among the most harmful of emotions are jealousy, hatred, and anger. We need to understand some simple ways to control each of these emotions. Based on some real-life experiences of elders, five simple ways to throw away jealousy and hatred and minimize anger are discussed in this article.

Try as hard as you can to keep the mind calm at work. Imagine a situation when the boss, unfortunately, shouts at you. It is extremely natural that you are angry. Chances are that you would bite your teeth and not show it. You would really go the full mile to control your anger. Particularly if your job is precious to you for the salary you receive.

The question is clear: would you even risk the consequences and quit your job? This might happen in some Tamil or Hindi movies where you see the hero mentions a challenge to the boss and simply walks out. The rest of the movie would see the hero go from strength to strength. Such events can only happen in the movies. Life is pretty hard and we need to understand that. We need to live our lives in the best manner possible with the minimum of tension.

That is, of course, easier said than done. Hence, what can be done? The five simple ways mentioned here are not from any textbook. They are not original either. These ideas are from elders above 70 years of age. This is possibly the only generation that will soon vanish from this world. It was this generation where there was perfect understanding between the husband and wife. In spite of many a dispute or difference of opinion, there would have been a climate of giving and take and far greater understanding between life partners. Today, the tensions in any marriage are creeping in.

It is in this context that the advice of elders can be useful. The five ideas have been understood after extensive discussions with at least ten elders. The best of ideas did come from bankers who were transferred all over India. Their rich experience and tolerance of any difficulty had helped them manage any situation.

The five ways are a) Developing a philosophical attitude towards life b) Sit idle for five minutes in another location c) Talk five minutes off to think about some good incident in the past one-week d) Develop a bit of empathy and e) Remain calm even in the most difficult of times.

Developing a philosophical attitude towards life

There is a big belief that life is small and we need to be happy to the maximum extent. At least two elders mentioned the famous Tamil song from a Rajnikant Tamil movie song. The message reads like this: "ethadai kondu vanthom, kondu sella" (This phrase translates into: what did we bring into this world, to take back with us when we are dead?")

This makes it interesting. Is that not true? We find smugglers and other anti-social elements also dying. We also see so many good people also die. We feel sorry to have lost such human beings. Yet, God has the same plan. We are back to the same place after we die. The elders did say that it is very difficult, but it is the training of the mind that is so vital here. When the mind is constantly reminded of this fact, we tend to remain calm. Our anger can be controlled at least to some extent. This author has tried it and found it to be true. He has learned to be calm in spite of all provocation.

Sit idle for five minutes in another location

What the elders tend to suggest is that one should just take a break and walk across to have a cup of tea and then relax in some other location for five minutes. The mind should be totally empty. There should be no thought at all. This is true of home situations too. If we just try to take a break, we do calm down. Anger, in particular, is dangerous when we pick up some object to hit the other person. This should be totally controlled. As regards hatred for any person, the elders do advise to talk directly to the concerned person and help him or her to the extent possible. However, even here, one needs to be extremely calm.

Talk five minutes off to think about some good incident in the past one-week

This could mean just recollecting something good from the past one week's experiences. Like a joke with your wife. Like a word of praise from someone in the office. Whatever. This will help us to look forward with optimism and emerge more confident of ourselves. One of the elders narrated his own story of how he sought to develop relationships with the local community in Madhya Pradesh where he was posted. He was a banker. Even his half-baked knowledge of palmistry helped. He would start by saying that his knowledge was limited. Yet, hundreds would flock to him asking him for predictions. In this manner, he was able to garner additional deposits to the bank and the bosses were quite happy. Since he had lived in New Delhi for ten years when his father was posted there, his Hindi was extremely good and this helped too.

Life is like that. Once we have some talent that we could use, life becomes interesting. And the good incidents would make us more happy and relaxed. We can at least control jealousy and hatred and our happiness would also mean reduced anger.

Develop a bit of empathy

In the simplest of words, empathy refers to the ability to put ourselves in the shoes of the other person and then understand the problem as if it were our own. This is easier said than done. However, if we make an honest attempt, we can do it. It will come automatically to us through interaction with people who are placed at positions far below in the economic pecking order.

It does work. When we meet with the people who are far below us in economic terms, our mind starts to think of their condition. We then tend to do something for them. In the process, we develop far better emotional intelligence and balance of mind. This helps us to keep away from the harmful effects of both jealousy and hatred. At least two of the elders are conducting totally free English classes for slum children. This activity keeps them busy for at least four hours. City life is difficult but they have found interesting ways to keep themselves busy. Such simple thoughts can help us too. How we do it or what we choose to do may be different. But the path is clear.

Remain calm even in the most difficult of times

Videos of the different messages and also printed material is available on the thoughts and ideas of the Mahaperiyava of Kanchi Kamakoti trust, who had made it clear that only peace will bring about harmony and love and minimize conflicts. He had even advised Dr. Subramanian Swamy to develop good relations with Israel. This opened up the doors for more cooperation between the two countries later.

Those who have had personal experiences of meeting him and taking his advice at some point or the other are all people from whom we can learn too many good things about life. Remaining calm comes to them so naturally. It is in this context that this step becomes vital and important. Once this is done, we would have made some significant progress in the art of doing away with jealousy and hatred and at least minimizing anger. How we do it is our own interest and right. However, it is fine to listen to the advice of such great people. They were saints who did so much to mankind.


The aforesaid discussion relates to five simple ways only. There could be other ways and these are not discussed here. The five ways have been adopted by the elders. These lessons can possibly help anyone at any point in time. After all, jealousy and hatred are harmful to any society itself. And anger needs to be controlled at all levels.


Author: DR.N.V. Srinivasa Rao18 Nov 2019 Member Level: Platinum   Points : 7

The introduction part is good. The author mentioned that quitting a job immediately will happen in movies. But I am an example of such happening in my career. I just resigned a very lucrative job as there was an unnecessary exchange of words from the MD of the company where I was a director. I quit the job even without even informing my wife. Here self-respect has come into the picture. The payment was almost about half a crore per annum. But I was lucky to get another job immediately with the same level of salary and with less responsibility. Of course, it may not happen in every case.

The five points mentioned can be covered simply by one technique called diversion technic. Of course, the last point mentioned by the author will not come under this category. When somebody is shouting at us, if we can get into his shoes and think from his side we may not get angry and we will try to understand which behaviour of mine made him talk like that. Then we can understand where we have to amend our ways.

Never worry about the success of others and take a positive note from the success of others and that will make you understand your mistakes and correct yourself. But whatever may be the case we should not lose our self-respect and we should not yield to others for our wants and necessities.

A good article from the author which is very educative.

  • Do not include your name, "with regards" etc in the comment. Write detailed comment, relevant to the topic.
  • No HTML formatting and links to other web sites are allowed.
  • This is a strictly moderated site. Absolutely no spam allowed.
  • Name: