Introduction In nine out of ten cases of the here and now actions, it is always observed that our restlessness is often the cause. And being restless can be directly attributed to i) low self-confidence and self-esteem ii) anger at everything iii) wanting to make a statement, for whatever that may mean and iv) just to swim with the in-thing.
Another important contributor to here and now actions are the insatiable urge for immediate gratification without any consideration of long-term consequences. If the family is affected, so be it. The individual is self-centered and commits one blunder after another. A third dimension is to actually be too much bound or concerned about what others would think of him or her. More so, the immediate relatives and close friends. Life does not work like this. And then the brooding over mistakes happens rather late. In the meanwhile, the blunders have already been done.
Getting over these "here and now" actions is not an easy joke. It is not a onetime activity or an impulsive response. It is a series of well-thought-out steps. In the main, the steps are a) Love yourself and be yourself b) Never try to impress others c) Always think about long-term d) Sharpen your saw every day and e) Learn to be patient.
Love yourself and be yourselfThe first and most important point is to love yourself and be yourself. What does this mean? It is simple. You are born into this world as a unique person. You have the best of skills and competencies. You have your own unique personality. It is impossible to be like another person if he or she is totally different. He or she might be your role model but you need to ape only those qualities that will make sense to you and not try to transform yourself into someone totally different. This does not work at all.
This is a true-life story. No names are mentioned. Even the city's name is not mentioned. Yes. It is a Southern Metro ( not Chennai). The girl's cousin's sister was also happily married and settled in that city. The particular cousin had done her advanced media course in the USA but wanted to work in India. As her work involved meeting with and discussing various plans with so many people, she just milked her extrovert qualities and since she was naturally expressive, she was a big success. The girl under reference had also done a similar course, but from Madurai and lacked the exposure so badly needed. Moreover, she had done only the UG course. The girl had her cousin as her role model. She would often visit her home and learn from her.
The job that she held was totally different. Her organization was very small. Her job description did not take her very far. However, she started thinking that if she dressed like her cousin, she could dramatically change her life and be promoted. She went to the beauty parlor and groomed herself. She started wearing all western dresses. Her cousin was amused. She gently told her to be patient and learn through experience. The girl's husband who tolerated her for sometime intervened when he knew that his wife was doing the wrong thing. Finally, a good counselor came along and she understood her folly. She not only did a further course during her week-end and then changed her job. The hand-holding by the counselor helped a great deal. She learned to be herself. This is exactly what should be done.
Never try to impress othersThis also happens. The here and now actions are actually external manifestations of this deep-rooted urge to impress others. You should remember that no one will ever help you. It is always that you need to live your own life. Your life is entirely in your hands. You just should not impress others. It never works.
Always think about long-termThe counselor in the aforesaid case was able to swing the girl's thinking from short-term to long-term. She talked about everything positive about Madurai and the rich culture and all that. She impressed upon the girl that she had everything and needed vital experience to go ahead. Nothing happens in a day or short-term. The girl understood the message and was able to recollect all her childhood experiences. This is exactly what should happen. After all, your development has to happen over a period of time. Any unwanted here and now action will only land you in deep trouble and distract attraction from your own strengths. When we think long-term, everything falls into place. You will be able to join all the dots. The dots simply signify all the long-term actions that you should take to go ahead in life. Map it by placing all the actions in a piece of paper. Once you have clarity on this, you will positively be able to do far better things. The here and now actions will simply disappear.
Sharpen your saw every day When you start updating yourself every day of your life, you will positively see new chemistry taking place. Your body language will change. You will be more confident and will start thinking about the most important question: what next? The clear answers to this question will emerge and that will only reinforce your self-confidence. Let us take one example. It is now clear that being an introvert never helps. Today, you need the gift of the gab. The ability to get across to people at all levels is now important. However, this does take time. You need to observe others and how they use words. And you need to observe their body language as well. When you start doing this, you will learn several new things. For one, you will understand where you are and where you need to go. Secondly, you will stop being pessimistic. You will be able to go ahead and face life with a new level of confidence.
Learn to be patient Whether it is your job or your learning in your job or a change of job in a new location or even thinking about whom to marry, every single decision of yours can never ever be taken in a here and now fashion. This will be a disaster for sure. All you need to do is to seriously ponder your decision and then visualize all the challenges that will unfold.
Let us take one good example. You are a sort of shy guy who will not open up at all. You get to meet a girl who has been spotted by your parents as a possible life partner. The girl is just the opposite and a big extrovert. She is also very ambitious. She does ask you several questions about your job, your dreams and so on. She also bluntly tells you that she will not resign her job at all. However, you know that your parents prefer only a girl who would rather take care of them and stay at home.
You are presented with a big challenge. On the one hand, you like the girl and even admire her for her frankness. She would sort of compliment your skill-sets. You are a bit confused about her career ambitions. A here and now decision does not mean you play ball now and then try to convince her to give up her job. That would land you in a divorce. And you now need to understand that this girl is just one of the several hundreds of girls who now want to express themselves. The world has changed. Nine out of ten girls that you would get to "see" would be similar. What you do now requires a serious discussion with all. And your parents in particular. Once you are done with this sort of deep reflection and clear thought, you can make a call.
You just need to be patient. Life is never easy. Every single decision has long-term implications. Every single action of yours needs to be thought about and then implemented. If you do it, you can easily see all the differences.
Conclusion Here and now actions are no answers for success in a complicated world. The steps discussed above will hopefully open up new vistas of thinking and action for any individual at any point in time.
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Many times in our lives we will be making some decisions in haste and paying the price afterwards. Some decisions will have long term implications. But we should not make a decision which will have a negative effect on our lives for long.
I agree with the author that we can have a role model in our life but we need not be a replica of him. The conditions and the background of every person will vary from another person. When we think about our future we should take our conditions into account and decide the best way for our progress.
Sometimes we will get attracted to the small benefits we get by our actions immediately but the same may cause a loss in long run. So we should evaluate our actions keeping not only short-time gains but long time losses also. Then only you will be on the right path in your life.
Many times many of us feel that we are the masters and we know everything. But we should know that this world is not static. It will be always dynamic. Sometimes we understand the problem with our small understanding of the subject we have. But without our knowledge, many changes may be taking place and the entire exercise will become a waste. So we should always update ourselves with the latest developments in the subject.
Inculcating patience is the best way to tackle such situations because one has to learn the pros and cons of the new destinations of life and career. And never ever we should have the ego that we know many things and there is nothing to be learned more as that would push us to the wall and we might get locked.