Learning the art of staying away from distractions


Life at every stage of any human being is complex. The complexities are bound to increase in the years to come. And distractions that take a heavy toll on one's career and financial goals are serious indeed. Some simple methods of staying away from such distractions are discussed in this article.

Picture this situation

Raghu(name changed) is a plus-two student. Some fifteen days after the academic year started, his friend and classmate at school, showed him a picture of a pretty girl who was his cousin. Innocently, Raghu requested his friend to introduce the girl to him. She was based at Hyderabad and was just one year younger than Raghu. She had come to spend her weekend in Chennai. Raghu was simply bowled over by the girl. Latha (name changed) was not really interested in any big conversation with him. But since Raghu was too good in mathematics, her mother requested him to clear some of her doubts. Raghu pounced on the opportunity and taught her many simple things to do complicated problems. This made the girl to trust Raghu. However, after she left for Hyderabad, Raghu spent a lot of time thinking only about her. He felt that he had lost an opportunity to express his love for her.

While it was perfectly normal for anyone like Raghu to have such feelings, his academic performance suffered a bit. He lost six marks in mathematics. His parents were confused. A little probing enabled them to understand what went wrong and how. They took him to a relative who was a trained counselor. In the nick of time, Raghu went on to score the highest marks. He did so well thereafter. He joined the IIT and then caught up with the same girl. He motivated her to study well. She also joined IIT at Kanpur. Their romance was subdued but Latha soon realized that Raghu was her man. They were eventually married. This is a real-life story. It is not fiction.

However, not everyone is as lucky as Raghu. Or as frank, as he was with the trained counselor. This actually leads to the ways to manage distractions at any stage. In the main, one has to a) Seek help and be frank in opening up b) Always involve parents d) Take to spirituality and e) Always analyze all consequences.

Seek help and be frank in opening up

This is a big imperative. Imagine what would have happened to Raghu if his parents had not helped him at the right time. Latha had no special feelings for him at all. As it sometimes happens in any Tamil or Telugu movie( these kinds of movies are becoming very common now) he would have distracted himself, chased the girl all the way to Hyderabad and would have tried to woo her. He would have distracted himself too much and his life could have taken a turn for the worse.

Most importantly, he was frank in admitting everything to the counselor and this helped him to make a turnaround in whatever he was doing. This should always happen. Since I know both the families and the individuals involved, this case-study is so fresh, as one big distraction was avoided at the right time.

Always involve parents

In the aforesaid rea case, Raghu's distraction was nipped in the bud only because his parents found out his distraction quickly. If it had assumed bigger proportions, it could have been late for him. Similarly, it is wise to immediately involve parents. One's parents are the only human beings who can really shape any child in the best manner. It always happens that the genuine warmth and affection will naturally flow only from parents. It does not help to open up to a friend or even to one's maternal uncle. In these modern times, every single human being has his or her own problems and just does not find enough time to sort out distractions.

Put family interests ahead of personal interests

This is one sure step that can help in a big way. For instance, it is somewhat interesting to note that even those who are high on habitual booze for a long period of time, give it up after proper guidance and counseling. The counseling units attached to many Schools of Social Work offering the MSW degree are reportedly curing many of these men. They slowly but surely realize their folly and then behave in perfectly normal ways. In particular, the Christian Medical College at Vellore has such services on a big scale. In any case, before any distraction, it is always wise to put family interests before personal interests.

Take to spirituality

Across religions, there are many spiritual leaders who have extensively written on so many spiritual ideas. Even if one views the numerous Youtube videos, one will be able to understand what it takes to become a bit spiritual and attain the vital balance of the mind between the spiritual and the commercial world. It does make sense to take to spirituality not only for the peace of mind but also for enabling one to be allied to good thoughts and ideas that teach any human being the futility of actions that do not lead to any tangible result. Distractions of any kind will not yield any good results.

Always analyze all consequences

This is another important step. It often happens that emotions involved in the distraction simply make the person literally divorced from all reason. However, when advised by significant elders, including those who are well known to the particular family, if is commonly seen that the concerned person listens to them and comes out of the distraction. The elders would have superb patience. They are always in a different world of their known. They would have faced hardships. They would never have earned the kind of salaries now earned by their sons. Their corpus would enable them to be happy and contended.

This is exactly the kind of people who can quickly help the youngsters to come out of even dangerous distractions like the use of drugs. In a particular case of extra-marital relationship, it was a retired Army officer who was able to influence the mind of a 35-year-old banker who fell madly in love with a married girl, almost eight years younger to her. When he was educated about all negative consequences, including the already bad health of his mother, the young man realized his folly. Making him understand all the sacrifices of his mother who lost her husband within four years of marriage and when this son was just three years old, made his change for the better.

It was an almost dangerous obsession. His legally wedded wife wanted to file for divorce. Worse, he was based in a very small town and his romance became the talk of the town. Fortunately, sound advice saved him. The best thing is to analyze all the consequences. In this manner, we can quickly get over the distraction.

Conclusion

Given the vast scope for distractions at any stage, some steps to be taken to come out of distractions have been discussed above. The real-world true experiences of others teach us many lessons. We will always be better human beings if we avoid all distractions in life.


Comments

Author: DR.N.V. Srinivasa Rao12 Mar 2020 Member Level: Platinum   Points : 6

A good narration from the author. It will be useful for young students who are in their 10th and 12th standards. The students in these classes will be in their teenage and they will be getting more attracted to opposite genders and waste a lot of time thinking about the girls/boys. I feel here the parents should be more watchful and they should understand and smell any small difference in the behaviour of their child. Once they notice some change they should probe into the reasons and see that they will come out of those feelings. This is the best way to keep the wards in a proper way.

A student must not have any distractions during their higher secondary studies which will be the deciding factor for their future. Full concentration on education and studies is the need of the hour. Of course, there may be many things happenings around which will take them away from these studies. But they should make up their mind and take a strong decision that for me this time nothing is more important than study. Their mindset should not change at any cost. Then only they will be successful.

It depends more on the friends you have. Try to have friends who are more interested in studies rather than other issues. Choose your friends in such a way that they will also concentrate on studies only and there will not be any chance for distractions.



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