Introduction More often than not, our commonsense does not allow us to even be or become aware of the common mistakes or blunders. As it always turns such common mistakes are centered around our a) Inability to honor any promise b) Disrespecting people from lower economic classes c) Indulging in domestic violence d) Having giant-sized egos about our wealth and e) Stabbing people in the back.
Inability to honour any promise We would be talking over the phone. The call is interrupted by a call from our boss. We immediately tell the guy at the other end" I will call you back". We never do this at all. We are sort of indifferent. We have our own understanding of events. We try to postpone such small courtesies. This can be disastrous for our effective interpersonal relationships with all people. For one, that person would be hurt but not show it. Secondly, he might share his anxiety or concern with someone and go on to explain that we would never honor our promise to call back. This creates more problems.
We might think it is a silly issue. It is not. It is a question of the value we attach to the importance we give to other human beings. We also promise many people that we would recommend his son or daughter but never do so. We fail to honor our promise. It might become serious if we promise to lend someone some money but never honor it. We might have promised to host some friend and he would come all the way. It might turn out that other guests also arrive at the same time. The best that we could do is to also accommodate our friend as promised or enable a decent accommodation in a nearby lodge and ensure that the friend feels comfortable. We should call on the friend and do all that is possible by profusely apologizing for the inconvenience caused. Only such a show of our sincerity and intent will help us tide over the small crisis that can cause big hurt to our friend if we fail to reach out to them. Not honoring any of the promises that we commonly make can take various forms. It is for us to seriously understand where we err and correct small or big mistakes that we do by not doing what we promised. In the short and long-term, we always run the risk of being branded as valueless people.
Disrespecting people from lower economic classes There are CEOs who go all out to invite the entire team for the wedding of their sons and daughters. They would acknowledge the presence of any guest, irrespective of their economic status.
Yet, such instances are becoming quite rare. We tend to treat any person from the lower economic classes without even the slightest of empathy and even sort of justifying whatever we do. We tell our peers that "they should be kept where they are". This only makes people at large hate us. We incur their wrath. They may be helpless but they would not have the slightest of regard for us.
When we land ourselves in any crisis, it is the poor who really help us. The ready and overwhelming response of the poor who mobilized all their resources to quickly transport many victims who were injured in the Mumbai terrorist firing some years ago became the subject of discussion in many global platforms and was repeatedly praised by the global electronic media. Yet, we do not even bother to give them the bare minimum of support.
Indulging in domestic violenceThe Indian print and electronic media is ripe with news of the most unfortunate instances of domestic violence by men, who ventilate all their anger on their hapless wives and even children, since they are forced to be holed up in their homes, due to COVID-19. This is the worst mistake or even blunder that we do. Domestic violence is as criminal as any other offense. Even an alert neighbor can ring up the police.
The legal angle apart, it does have other implications. What message do we give to our children? Our grown-up sons would get the first wrong message. Their minds would have already been conditioned by what they see in their own home or in some Indian movies, that it is fine for men to beat their wives. They would tend to accept it as normal. Our daughters would obviously be angry with us and men, as a rule, are hated by grown-up daughters who see their mothers being beaten up. There are cases where men do not even spare their children. This is domestic violence at its worst. Such instances are a big nuisance for society and the neighbors are also mentally affected. The entire family gets branded as one family that deserves no praise. Most neighbors do not even bother to talk to the women affected, for fear of getting into any controversy.
Having giant-sized egos about our wealth Most of us have giant-sized egos about our wealth. Most of us try to make a statement or two and deliberately avoid relatives who do not have the same kind of wealth in any social function. We tend to naturally talk only to "people like us", trying to make it abundantly clear that those who do not fall into "our bracket' do not have our attention or regard to even the slightest degree.
More often than not, when we become old, we regret whatever we did. It so happens that the rich relatives only try to exploit us for money. However, the not-so-rich relatives turn up and help us in whatever way we can. This happens so often and it does appear straight from some Tamil or Hindi movie. It does happen with monotonous regularity.
We regret our stupidness only when we fall seriously ill or our wealth gets eroded for whatever reason. Or we start feeling miserable when the richest relatives try to cut corners and cheat us at every step. It does happen that these people are always only after our money. This realization dawns on us rather late in life. Hence, we should try to learn from real-world experiences and stop having any ego about our wealth. Only values stay on for a long time. If we are kind and good to all and also help the poor, we can be assured that the good word would go around and we will have a good time.
Stabbing people in the backWe have seen it in many movies. The doting father would trust the son and give him the power of attorney to register a document in his name. (that is, the father). The ambitious son, sometimes misguided by his wife or others, would stab the father in the back and get the document registered in his own name.
Friends turn foes overnight. There are many examples. Some atrocious builders would be violating some rules and would be selling some flats. We would be promised some commission. Greed takes over. We tend to think that the builder has "connections" and there won't be any problem. The building itself was built on a foundation that was not strong, as there could have been a small lake on the space where the new flats are now coming up. This would have escaped our attention, though.
Our friends would trust us. Their trust in us would be breached when they know that we had made money in the first place. This is the most atrocious mistake that we can ever make. Instances of this kind are not at all rare. We ought to be 100% true to our conscience. Any extra money that comes to us should come through our own honest efforts, and not by cutting corners. If we do so, we are compromising on values and trust. This should not happen. It is always wise to keep away from such people, howsoever close they are otherwise to us.
ConclusionBased on a number of real-life observations and experiences of people known to me, I have discussed certain dimensions of some common mistakes or even blunders. The moment we realize the magnitude of these mistakes and take remedial action, we would have been able to make a difference to our lives in whatever way we can.