Introduction Many of us are habituated to judge almost everything. Be it a situation or another human being, we like to deduce how the situation or person will be even before starting a formal interaction. This creates a lot of conflict during our interactions and we may not interact with the other person properly if we are too judgemental. On the other hand, if we are non-judgemental our mind remains clear without any idea of the activities or behaviour of the person and we can make a correct decision based on our feedback of the interaction. This helps to understand the person in a better way without being prejudiced.
Importance of non-judgemental interaction If we see somebody coming from a certain place or someone is eating a particular food we may try to conclude that the other person will be having a set of specific habits even if she/he does not have such habits. In some of the cases, we may be correct but not in all. Knowing things beforehand is helpful in alerting us of possible danger but at the same time, we should have a clear idea of what we need to know and what we need not. We need to find out if the person has some habits is it going to affect us in any way or we remain critical just for the sake of it?
Remaining judgemental may help us to guess only certain things but unless the interaction continues a large part remains hidden. Judgemental interactions will not open up the minds of the other person with whom we are interacting and our minds will also remain busy judging the person in various ways while interacting. Being non-judgemental will pave the way for more understanding and attachment with the other person which will always make the conversation interesting.
Why people are judgemental Many are judgemental because even before the interaction starts they attempt to frame a picture of the person in their minds and try to reason them with their set of beliefs. If during the reasoning they find the qualities beneficial they go ahead and if not they start criticizing. In most cases, people try to judge others from their own perspective and never look at a larger perspective. They fail to recognize everyone is unique and have different ways of life and thought process.
How to remain non-judgemental Accept the person like she/he is. It shows you are valuing them as fellow human beings. You have to remember that everyone has the equal right to live and think and more importantly people should feel they also have a say. Clearing the minds of unwanted thoughts and preconceived ideas is the best way to remain non-judgemental. You must have choices and at the same time should respect the choices of others too. If your nature is to interfere in various activities of others you need to stop that. Understanding your limits is a must which will help you to realize that others have limits too and their nature or behaviour can be a product of their limits. Another important thing is listening to the other person carefully. The more you listen attentively the deep you can go inside.
Conclusion In many cases, conflicts occur because people try to become judgemental. If the mind is free from doubts, beliefs and misconceptions the interaction can be intense and ultimately it will help in understanding others in a better way.
Being judgemental is never treated as a good trait. Without understanding the issue properly or not viewing the issue from the same angle the other person sees, if we start getting some idea about the other person, that is not correct. When we know a person is a son of so and so person, then we start thinking that that person will be similar to his father and will also have the same habits as his father. But this may not be correct. Talking to a person or analysing him with preconceived ideas is never advisable. We should take every issue as a specific case and we should go by the merits and demerits of the person. Then only we can have a correct idea about the other person. Many times we will be proved wrong if we are judgemental.
If we interact with a person or engage in a discussion with a group of people then many times we talk from a biased mind and tell only those things with what our mind is prejudiced. This is a very common thing being done by many people though it is not recommended to do like that. It is said that weigh your words before you speak. We have to take time in pondering over an issue and see how it is going to affect the people around and what would be the implication of making a remark or telling a statement like that. So, a little bit of logical and rational approach can help us a great deal in the matters and then our comments would be really useful to the people on whom we would be making in return against their queries or arguments.
No one on Earth has sufficient and commensurate knowledge to make a judgemental statement without knowing the background and details of an issue and if we make a comment like that, intentionally or unintentionally, then it would definitely have disastrous effects. A wise and prudent person will avoid making judgemental comments or responses in his interactions with others.
The author has explained the importance of being non-judgement. Of course, it is good to have a non-judgmental attitude. But I think being judgmental is human nature, and we all have this kind of nature and can not escape from it. But I think it is more important to be open-minded. Try to avoid overly critical judgements which show anyone's self insecurities and high self-esteem. When we try to judge a person without much information about him we usually make wrong judgements. When we criticize others, we are also critiquing ourselves. So it is necessary to know the person first very well before making any judgement. He/she must have the courage to revise the judgement after getting new information about someone. It is necessary to be open-minded to make good judgements.
Being judgmental is not a good habit because if we judge others all the time, then in the eyes of the people, the value of us and our decisions or advice would be less. But it is also true that an ordinary human is compelled by nature and every time it is not possible to control himself, so people become judgmental even if they do not want to. The best way to control this is when you are about to be judgmental then first stop and ask yourself is this the right place and right time for you to be judgmental and if you still feel like that then talk in a decent way which doesn't seem negative. Try to judge yourself first and when you start doing this you will find yourself less judgmental towards others.
This is a good article submitted by the author and what is stressed is the fact that one should be not committal when it comes to expressing opinion on the matter close to our known persons. By towing the middle path we have the good chance of talking to both sides and even breaking the ice for the truce. But we have to tread the situation carefully as both parties to the dispute would be watching our moves and counter moves and that should not be one sided affair. In some cases by being having the center path of approach, we are treated good by the both parties because we are not against the thought process of the them. But when are having this kind of approach, we must be ready to say good tips to both of them as there is going to be near agreement to our proposals and for which we need to be one step further to their voices and concern. One thing is sure, we should not aggravate any situation but we should control them with our knowledge and wisdom and that would far reaching and far fetching agreement with us for sure.
When we judge someone, we are disrespecting them. They have their own set of values and principles. They look at the world with their coloured glasses. Our perception and theirs need not match. Our thoughts, words and actions might be different from theirs. We should be fine with our perception and let others live through their own experience. There is no point in judging someone. We judge others because we are not trying to get in their shoes. If for once we try to understand them by standing in their shoes, we will stop judging them.
Imagine someone judging us. We are trying to share our side of the story or explain things from our perspective and the listener is judging our every word and action. It looks so scary. We get defensive because the other person is offensive towards us. Yes, passing judgment is a kind of offensive action. We try to defend ourselves. We will then get back into our shells and immediately stop sharing what we were sharing. It is because when the other person does not have empathy towards us, there is no point in sharing our side of the story. This is what we do to others when we judge them. Sometimes we may not say out loud what we think about them but keep creating judgmental thoughts within our brains.
When we judge others, we are restricting ourselves. We do not want to open up to new things and ideas. We want to listen or look at what we already know or have seen. This way, we are putting a constraint on ourselves. We do not learn anything new. When we are open to new ideas, we will grow as an individual. Thus, we should allow others to speak their mind. Just because their idea about the world is different from ours, we should not shut them down by being judgmental towards them.